rewrite this title Therapists Are Begging You Not to Ask These 10 Questions This Holiday Season

Medical procedures are a private matter. Plus, consider that plastic surgery isn’t always elective—sometimes it’s the result of a health issue. 

“[Plastic surgery] doesn’t automatically equate to vanity,” Love says. “We might be trying to make conversation, but because we don’t have all the information, it can come across as judgmental and condescending, and it’s just not helpful.” Stick to the golden rule of never commenting on someone’s appearance, she adds, instead focusing on strengths and other personality traits you admire.

You might desperately want to know how much that fancy new phone cost—and how your nephew can afford it—but save the money talk for your post-dinner game of Monopoly. “Anything about money can come off the wrong way,” Osequeda says. “These are the kind of questions that feel judgy and invasive, and it puts somebody on the spot, where they then feel like they need to talk about their finances or justify spending a certain amount,” she advises. You’re better off asking about their favorite moments or accomplishments from the year, rather than prying into financials. “If someone wants to share, they will,” she says. “Otherwise, it’s better not to bring it up.”