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New Year’s resolutions are often punishing. You force yourself to drop 20 pounds, go to the gym more often, get a better paying job—all-or-nothing goals that set you up for disappointment.
That’s why some experts prefer a different approach: adopting a “nudge word” meant to guide your mindset and actions over the coming year. It’s a touchstone you can return to to remind yourself of your values and vision, nudging you toward positive change.
“There’s something that’s a bit demanding about resolutions,” says Dr. Christopher W.T. Miller, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. “It automatically creates an expectation.” When Jan. 15 rolls around and you’ve already ditched the new diet or workout, you’ll feel bad about yourself, he says. A nudge word, on the other hand, “is meant to be harmonizing and centering and help us feel grounded.” It’s more fluid, softer, and gentler than a resolution, he adds.
That resonates with John Sovec, a therapist in Pasadena, Calif., who uses nudge words personally and recommends them to his clients. Every year, he treats his birthday in early December as an opportunity to begin reflecting on the year to come—including which nudge words might be most beneficial. He settles on three that capture what he wants to invite into the New Year. “They’re not punishing words, they’re not negative words, and they’re not words that are going to shut you down,” he says.
Sovec creates a calendar alert so that every morning at 8:30, his nudge words flash onto his screen as a reminder to keep them at the forefront of his day. “When it pops up, I take a moment, repeat them to myself, and breathe them into my body,” he says. “I’ll just close my eyes, sit with them for that moment, and really allow it to be like, ‘OK, this is what my day is going to be like.’”
Unsure which nudge words might be right for you? We asked experts for inspiration.
Self-empathy
If you want a shortcut to better well-being, lean into self-empathy, which means treating yourself with the kindness, understanding, and compassion you would extend to a loved one.
Read More: 10 Questions to Ask Yourself at the Start of a New Year
“We spend so much time in demand mode, and having to produce, and it feels like we’re just chasing a horizon that we can never reach,” Miller says. “Self-empathy allows us to stop and appreciate all the things we have done.”
Balance
Another one of Miller’s favorite nudge words is “balance.” It reminds him that life isn’t only about work—he needs to make time for himself, too. “It’s been a counterweight in some ways to help me scale back a little bit,” he says. After a long day, for example, he might give himself permission to relax: “I’m tired; I’m going to go to sleep. This problem will still be here tomorrow.”
Peaceful
A sense of peace can calm your worried mind, allow for clearer thinking, and strengthen relationships. That’s why, in 2025, Sovec made “peaceful” one of his nudge words. “There’s so much going on in the world around us that we have absolutely no control over,” he says. To him, focusing on peace means asking himself: “What about the space around me? What can be peaceful in my day, in my moments, in my interactions with people?”
Sovec also uses “peaceful” as a framework for how to talk to his nervous system. “Right now, our nervous systems are activated 24/7 because of all the new cycles we’re exposed to,” he says. “You can say, ‘Nervous system, you can relax, you can let go—right now we’re safe. We’re OK, so let’s find peace in the world around us.’”
Playful
Ask any of Sovec’s friends to describe him, and they’ll tell you he has mischievous tendencies—which perhaps explains why he made “playful” one of his recent nudge words. “It’s a way for me to remind my spirit that, hey, we’re only here a short time, let’s enjoy it as much as we can,” he says. “There’s a lot of stuff I want to do, so why not imbue playfulness into all of that?”
Read More: How to Reconnect With People You Care About
When his day starts to feel heavy, Sovec invokes his nudge word and looks for a little spot of brightness—like the cats that pop out of the bushes while he’s tending to his garden—and savors the moment of levity.
Prosperous
This word is often associated with money and success—neither of which feels authentic to Sovec. Rather, he chose this nudge word to represent “universally encompassing energy.”
“It’s the idea that prosperity is sitting down at a table full of friends and realizing the richness of that moment,” he says. “Prosperity is being able to donate to causes that are really important to you. It’s about looking around and realizing all the blessings I’m sitting in the middle of, vs. just like, ‘I’m going to make $250,000 this year.’”
Gratitude
Even if you don’t always remember to practice it, you surely know the many mental (and even physical) health benefits of gratitude. That’s why it’s an excellent nudge word, says Bonnie Settlage, a clinical psychologist and faculty member at Saybrook University in Oakland, Calif. “If I remember to reflect on the things that I’m grateful for, it immediately lifts my mood,” she says.
Vitality
Many New Year’s resolutions are centered on health and wellness. Settlage prefers focusing on vitality, or the energy and enthusiasm that contribute to a feeling of aliveness.
Resolving to quit smoking or lose a certain amount of weight, for example, is “shame-based and rooted in avoidance,” she says. “It’s more motivating to think, ‘I want more of life—more vitality—in my existence.’”
Clarity
When your mind is muddled and you’re overwhelmed by decisions, it’s helpful to summon clarity. This nudge word allows you to home in on what you want and take focused action to achieve it.
Read More: 9 Phrases That Drive Your Therapist Up a Wall
“It allows us to see things as they are—to see the truth, or what’s at the bottom of the pond or in the stream,” says Connie Habash, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Francisco. By reflecting on what you need, “you’ll learn to see with new eyes,” she adds, which can guide you in your relationships, career, and all other aspects of life.
Resilience
Resilience can be an especially powerful nudge word. Habash thinks of it as knowing that no matter what kind of challenges arise, you’re not stuck—you have the ability to bounce back, adapt, and recover.
If you adopt this nudge word, you might pause during moments of stress, adversity, or trauma and remind yourself that you can withstand whatever you’re dealing with. Habash suggests asking yourself: “If I tap into my resilience right now, how would I respond? How would I deal with this situation?”
Leaning into resilience is “an affirmation of your inherent courage and strength and capability,” she says, and can protect your mental health while helping you thrive through life’s inevitable hardships.
Contentment
Being content is different from being happy. Happiness is fleeting, Habash says, and typically triggered by specific events, like enjoying a favorite dessert or receiving a fancy gift. Contentment, on the other hand, is a calm, satisfied, long-lasting feeling.
“In a way it’s kind of radical, because our culture is based on lack,” Habash says. “It’s based on, ‘You don’t have enough, you aren’t enough, you need this, you need to buy that, you need to go have that experience and be that kind of person.’ Contentment flies in the face of all that.”
By holding this nudge word close, you can remind yourself that you are enough and you have enough, she adds—a powerful sentiment that will enhance your days and months ahead.
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