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Matt Rife is hitting the plastic surgery claims head on.
In the controversial comedian’s new memoir Your Mom’s Gonna Love Me, which hit shelves on Tuesday, the 29-year-old addressed the wide belief he went under the knife to achieve his chiseled look. But what may surprise you is he didn’t admit to a little bit of filler here and some Botox there — he chalked it all up to “stunted” puberty. He wrote:
“Puberty, after its sweet time for more than 20 years, finally decided to hit me square in the face.”
Um, what?? This is a new one we haven’t heard before. Puberty.
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He explained that he went from looking like a teen to a grown man in just mere months:
“Over a few months, I went from looking like a 13-year-old to looking like, you know, my actual age. Like an actual grown-ish man. My face got wider, my features became more prominent, I grew a few inches taller.”
Does puberty really do all THIS??
Obviously he got veneers to upgrade his smile… But as for the more chiseled look?? Puberty, really? In his late 20s?? If he says so! LOLz!
He went on to claim his “bizarrely stunted journey through puberty” became the basis for a “million-and-one internet conspiracies about all this elaborate plastic surgery I somehow had the time and money to undergo” — and even SLAMMED the plastic surgeons who’ve attempted to identity the cosmetic procedures he denies having:
“Straight up — if you are an actual doctor actually going on TikTok to proclaim a guaranteed diagnosis about a dude you’ve never even met before, much less treated, how the hell do you not lose your license?”
He called out their “frightening lack of common sense” before asking:
“Can the medical board please just issue an official certificate telling you to get a life? Something to help these people get their priorities straight, because they desperately need it.”
The stand-up comedian goes further to claim in an eye roll-worthy way that “good-looking people don’t always have it easy.” He wrote:
“If anything, as a comedian, it actually made s**t harder … As a comic, you’re supposed to make the audience like you, right? Well, who the f**k likes attractive people? No one!”
Is he really complaining about being attractive?? *Insert collective sigh here.* He added:
“It turns out that pretty people are f**ked up, too. Who knew? I’m in therapy. I’ve had multiple anxiety attacks. I struggle with clinical depression and I have complicated feelings about life, about my mom, about loneliness.”
Ohhh, suddenly things aren’t so funny anymore now that he’s the subject of the criticism?? We’re by no means diminishing his journey with mental health, but we find it ironic that he’s SO butthurt by jokes and what people are saying online when he doesn’t ever seem to care how HIS comedy material will affect other people!
As we know, he pissed off a LOT of fans last year after opening his Netflix special with a joke about domestic violence — one that he attempted an apology for, but ended up just coming across as even MORE offensive. And while promoting his new memoir, he doubled down.
Speaking with Us Weekly on Wednesday, he explained:
“It’s comedy. Sometimes you don’t hit the mark. Plenty of people think I did.”
Who?? Incels?? In the book, he added:
“To me, ‘The Joke’ was just that — a joke. I wasn’t trying to make some kind of profound statement about the state of our society. I was trying to set the tone for the rest of the show via a personal spin on a classic joke.”
Dude, seriously, you’re not helping AT ALL.
He complained about going from a TikTok sensation to “basically canceled” “practically overnight”:
“Maybe it wasn’t to your taste. That’s fine. That happens. Not to me very often — but it happens. But that doesn’t make me a supporter of domestic violence. I mean, Jesus — I grew up with an abusive stepdad. Verbal abuse, psychological abuse, physical abuse — I experienced it all.”
So his experience makes it okay to joke about violence about women??
He told the outlet the “only negative thing” about his joke was that people got upset — not the joke itself:
“It’s inevitable with almost any comedian. We’re in the business of making people happy, but I gotta be me … The immense positivity I received at the very beginning of [my career] can’t last forever. It taught me to respectfully not give a f**k. I know my intentions. I know where my heart lies.”
What a piece of work this guy is! But one who hasn’t had any work…
Reactions??
[Images via ABC & MTV/YouTube, & MEGA/WENN]
The post Comic Matt Rife Finally Addresses Plastic Surgery Rumors — Claims His Face Changed Because… appeared first on Perez Hilton.
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