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You may have seen Chelsea Handler was on Call Her Daddy last week. She opened up about her split with Jo Koy, a really pivotal recent decision for her. However, she also talked about a breakup from over a decade ago — one, it turns out, was much more savage…
She didn’t say which ex but described the relationship as “very toxic” — saying they “brought out the worst in” each other. Like what?
“Like I would look through his phone… he would be out ’til all hours, I would be paranoid about it. It was the worst version of me.”
Oof. Gotta get clear of things like that! But how to do it? That’s the wildest part of the story!
Related: Jessica Simpson Isn’t Getting Divorced Yet — But She Is Moving On!
Podcast host Alex Cooper asked about “the most unhinged thing” Chelsea had ever done as part of a breakup, and the comic explained this move was only because the relationship was so toxic:
“I knew I had to break up with him, but I wanted him to really feel it.”
OMG, what did she do?? She recalled:
“He had this huge drive that led up to his [upstate] estate, and I bought him 35 linden trees that I’m pretty sure I imported from Germany. Very extravagant. I had 17 put on either side of his driveway, so that you drive under this allée of trees.”
Um… she bought him a parting gift? Yes, but as she explained, those trees would be with him forever! And every year “the leaves would change and bloom, and it would be beautiful.” And he’d have to think of her:
“Every fall and every spring, I get a text from him saying, ‘I can’t believe I lost you. Do you want to come and see your trees? And I say, ‘I’m not interested.’”
Damn! That’s some cold, disciplined revenge right there. But there was one thing left unsaid in the interview. Linden trees bloom beautifully, it’s true… but they also STINK! They have a very particular sickly sweet smell that a wronged woman might want to throw in a lover’s face.
They smell like c*m.
Yes, really. Linden trees, tilia americana, have a surprisingly semen-like smell. The odor is well-documented, apparently it comes from something in the tree sap, and it helps attract certain flies to pollenate it. It’s not even the only tree with the smell!
The scent is especially strong when the flowers bloom… Every fall and every spring, making him think of her. LOLz! Chelsea is DIABOLICAL, and we could not love this more!
So which ex gets the noseful of sperm every year? Page Six has speculated the ex was André Balazs based on a few big clues, and they make a pretty convincing case. Chelsea dated the rich hotelier from 2011 to 2013. So the timeframe, his massive estate upstate on the Hudson… Gotta be him, right?
Ouch! What do you get for the man who has everything? If you’re annoyed at him, the gift of smelling c*m on his afternoon constitutionals! Ha!
[Image via Call Her Daddy/YouTube/MEGA/WENN.]
The post Chelsea Handler Got DIABOLICAL Revenge After 'Toxic' Relationship! appeared first on Perez Hilton.
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