rewrite this title FTX survivors: who made it out alive

GM. Craving something sweet? The Daily Squeeze delivers a fruit bowl of crypto updates – all-natural and simply delicious.

⚖️ FTX co-founder Gary Wang gets no jail time.

🍌 Justin Sun buys a banana taped to a wall for $6M.

🍊 News drops: NVIDIA drops their Q3 earnings report, scammers pretending to be Coinbase earn thousands every week + more

🍍 Market flavor today

The market’s got that sh*t’s about to go down vibe, and honestly? We’re here for it 😎 The Fear and Greed Index is flexing at 82 – still in Extreme Greed zone. Bitcoin’s getting super close to $100K, teasing us like it knows it’s the center of attention.

All eyes are glued to that six-figure line, and let’s be real – $100K isn’t just a milestone; it’s the headline. If BTC finally breaks past it, you already know what’s coming: a flood of fresh FOMO. But there’s a downside: when too many people pull up chasing the hype, things tend to snap back hard.

As for now, BTC ETFs are doing the heavy lifting to cool off the sellers, pulling in $773.4M just yesterday.

And while we’re still waiting for that $100K confetti drop, the analysts at Bernstein are already eyeing the next chapter. They dropped a 160-page banger on why they think Bitcoin’s going to $200K by the end of 2025.

As Shakira said, these charts don’t lie (or something like that, I don’t remember too well) – big things are brewing, and it’s just a matter of when, not if 🚀

💀 Horror rules, broken

All my fellow horror movie junkies know the golden rule: if you and your friends are partying in the woods and stumble upon some creepy cabin with “Enter if you hate staying alive” written on the door, what do you do?

You walk in, duh (classic 9000 IQ move), but you make sure that you’re not the first or last one in the line. Middle crew always has the best odds.

In crypto, arguably the scariest movie was the FTX collapse. But when it comes to the FTX exec legal saga? That golden rule somehow did not apply. Lemme break it down for you.

The main character here, ex-CEO Sam Bankman-Fried, walked into the court first. Big mistake, bro – he’s now gonna spend 25 years in prison.

Then we’ve got the middle bunch: Ryan Salame and Caroline Ellison, who scored 7.5 and 2 years, respectively – not great, still way better than SBF’s fate.

Nishad Singh, who was fourth in line, walked out with time served and three years of supervised release. Compared to the others? Dude practically got a participation trophy.

But here’s where the horror trope gets twisted: Gary Wang, FTX co-founder and our last-in-line guy, completely dodged prison time. That’s ’cause, apparently, he’s been very cooperative with prosecutors and didn’t know about the fraud until way later.

Now that I think about it, this aftermath is still giving horror movie, but more so the final girl storyline. Except instead of a running through the woods covered in blood scene, we get Gary Wang quietly walking out of court free.

🍌 Art world’s going bananas

Some smaller works by legendary artists like Pablo Picasso, Claude Monet, or Vincent van Gogh could be worth around $6M.

You know what other art piece is worth that much? A. F*cking. BANANA. TAPED. TO. A. WALL. 

I do consider myself somewhat of an art enjoyer, but man, what kinda Minion stuff is this.

The art piece, called Comedian, was created by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan. Back in 2021, he claimed that this banana masterpiece isn’t some kind of joke but “a sincere commentary on what we value,” and that its place in the high-art world feels like the auction house is stirring things up to “keep the show alive.”

Justin Sun, the guy behind Tron, was the one who bought this piece in a Sotheby’s auction for $6.2M. His take: “This is not just an artwork; it represents a cultural phenomenon that bridges the worlds of art, memes, and the cryptocurrency community.” Bro, it’s a banana.

And the tomfoolery doesn’t end there. You know what Sun also said? He’s gonna…

Eat it.

And now I’m sitting here. With at least two bananas in my kitchen. And I realize that, actually, I’m the idiot – if I’d used 100% of my brain, I’d be a millionaire now.

So, uh… anyone wanna buy a sock in a frame? It represents loneliness and the heartbreak of losing a loved one (the other sock in the dryer)… Anyone?.. Please?..

🍋 News drops

🚀 NVIDIA dropped some wild numbers for Q3 – a 94% year-over-year jump. Why’s that relevant? Well, they’re basically the vibe check of tech/AI, and the hype could spill over into crypto.

🎬 Netflix is dropping a doc on the infamous Bitfinex hackers, Ilya Lichtenstein and Heather Morgan, called Biggest Heist Ever. Mark your calendars – it’ll be out on December 6.

🚨 Scammers out here living their best lives, pulling in tens of thousands of dollars every week pretending to be Coinbase support. Their play? Dropping fake alerts about canceled password change requests and sending harmful links.

🎶 Grammy-winning artist Imogen Heap teamed up with Jen, an AI music platform, to drop two new tools. One lets you create tracks infused with the signature vibes of your favorite artist or producer, while the other is an AI voice model trained on Heap’s own vocals.

🧃 Sip of knowledge

Learn about the SafePal crypto wallet with the latest BitDegree Mission, “SafePal: 3-in-1 Crypto Storage Solution”:

Psst, BitDegree is cooking up something juicy to celebrate Bitcoin hitting $100K. Just sayin’… stay tuned, fam 👀

🍌 Juicy memes